when your couple doesn’t want a first look | wedding wednesday

this freaks most photographers out! especially when they get a portrait list from the bride that is quite extensive and detailed. it’s really easy for a bride to start making a list of all the family portraits that she, her mother and her future mother in law, wish to have taken during family portraits. but once they realize how long each setup takes and they don’t want to keep their wedding guests waiting at their reception while they go take family portraits and then romantic portraits…they tend to start considering a first look.

i am all for first looks! back in 2011, when i got married, they were a huge hit! it was a new thing that photographers were suggesting to their couples in order to make more time for portraits on an already hectic and rushed day. i am so grateful for our photographer (Rebecca Long Photography) and her knowledge on the pros and cons of a first look. when my mother and i met with her at my consultation, she explained it to me and answered all of my questions and i couldn’t imagine not having a first look on our wedding day! you can see our wedding post here 🙂

when considering a first look, couples should never do it because it is expected or because someone else has told them they have to. it needs to be because that is what the couple has discussed and it is what they want! as a bride, you will forever look back on your wedding day and remember it as you wanted! you wouldn’t want to look back and be upset because you did something for someone else and you regret it. trust me. it never turns out well!

one of the ways a photographer can work around not having a first look is to incorporate a special moment for their couple. this can be writing each other a letter and having them read it will a wall separating them. it can be blindfolding them both and allowing them to hold hands and talk to each other, blindly! it can be as simple as blindfolding the groom and allowing the bride to see him, but not letting him see her! there are tons of ideas out there and there is something for everyone! but i do encourage brides to be firm with their decision when they do finally decide. don’t let anyone talk you out of your plan, no matter how absurd you think your plan is!

when planning your wedding day, think about how you want to remember it! think about those little moments that will stick out in your mind, the private ones, the ones documented only by photographs, the ones that you may have overlooked as being special but that you can’t get out of your head! these are all important moments…and none of them should bring any type of regret to mind 🙂 it’s your day, do it your way!

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